i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.