just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
