I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
