Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
