so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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