Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
