Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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