im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
