Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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