so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
