Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
