i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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