Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All the doctor said was why
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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