Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
NoShamevember. You game?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
