That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
