Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
