so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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