Your dad touched me again.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
