All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
