in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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