She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
