I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, beer. Big fan.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
