Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And then my night got REAL pukey
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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