the new term for farting is butt boxing.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
