I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea