So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.