I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE