I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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