I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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