She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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