Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
