dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I smell stomach acid.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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