Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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