tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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