I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
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I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize