matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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