I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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