You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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