the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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