69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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