Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
