she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
