I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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