grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found puke in my bra..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
And then he peed in my hair
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