Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
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As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dick has a subreddit
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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