I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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