Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
