You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.