omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize