Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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