You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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