so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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