Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
