so that wasnt chicken after all
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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