just tell him i said nine months
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
