Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
