Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize