Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize