Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
