I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
