Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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