one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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