Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
